I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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