She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
