It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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