buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
