Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Randomize
