does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
