Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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