i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I need a burrito and a hug.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
