a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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