And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
