i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
