I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
we made out on top of his cat.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
