I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
