i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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