All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
