3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
My friends, they love my intelligence
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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