Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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