I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
