She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
