It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
