we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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