before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
