I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
