whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
