It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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