i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You did what with his pubic hair?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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