"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
