I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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