I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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