And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
