SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
