the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
