She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
