Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
