You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
