She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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