your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
