Where is the hickey?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
This is my gift to your gina
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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