Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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