mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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