even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
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