Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
