I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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