she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
