i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
