Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
When are your genitals available?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
