their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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