We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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