great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
