We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
